There are moments when we all either intentionally or unintentionally reflect upon our past.

We look back and think about mistakes we have made along the way.

Why?

Why do we look at where we have been instead of where we are going?

Is it because it is easier? Familiar?

But what will be? What is to come? Well, that seems kind of frightening, doesn’t it?

We never know what will happen from day to day or if we will be even given a tomorrow.

Despite how convincing ortalented somebody is at convincing us they can see into our future, they can’t, for only God knows that.

No one is able to say with certainty what will happen to our future selves — despite any positive, well-written horoscope generated for us on a daily basis.

We tend to recall where we’ve been, rather than on focusing on where we are in this moment.

But everyone’s past holds instances for which we are grateful. As well as those we wish we could simply forget.

Everyone’s past contains times where we would give just about anything to have that do-over. Times we so desperately want to have back in order to set everything right and produce a better outcome.

But why? Why do we want those do-overs? They made us who we are.

Perhaps it’s because those mistakes led us to a loss. Maybe those mistakes led us to a missed opportunity.

Maybe we said or did something to hurt someone, and in turn, it ultimately resulted in their walking away or viewing us differently.

Perhaps we passed on a chance to do something that would have changed the direction our lives could have gone.

Maybe we didn’t go to college or accept that job offer that would have put us on a path to have an exciting, financially-sound career.

Whatever the situation, reflecting on our mistakes gets us absolutely nowhere.

And there are no do-overs.

But … what if there were?

No, we can’t turn back a clock’s hands and travel into the past to change how a situation played out.

But we can learn from the mistake. We can do our best not to let our wrongdoings happen in our future.

We can tell someone who we hurt that we are sorry. No, sorry doesn’t change anything or make up for whatever we did wrong, but it offers those affected a chance to hear that we feel bad about what we did and wish that we could take it back.

Is that why today, there are so many people who are depressed?

Is it because we are too afraid to think about our future, yet too saddened to think about our past and our mistakes?

There are moments when we all reflect upon what has been.

Perhaps we look back and recall that one particular moment that unexpectedly defined exactly how or why we ended up becoming the person whom we are today.

Maybe we made the choice to be with a particular person, which unexpectedly resulted in us becoming a parent.

Sometimes parents have to rearrange their dreams, their goals and their plans, for the sake of taking on the responsibility of raising a child.

Maybe we declined taking on a position in a company because we believed it wasn’t a good enough fit for us, ultimately missing out on an opportunity to move up in that business or gain experience that would eventually get us to where we really wanted to be.

We all make mistakes.

We all make poor choices at one time or another.

And for most of us, we always live with the regrets.

How many of us ever do something about it?

I mean, really do something about it?

I wish I had been given the wisdom earlier in life to not let my past define me.

I wish I could take back all of the time I spent doing absolutely nothing of importance and instead, put that time into learning new things, going new places.

The years wasted are heartbreaking.

If we added up all of the moments we spent doing trivial things, it would add up to be years. Wasted years we can never regain.

The times we spent doing nothing of importance, times thrown away on activities that did not make one bit of difference in that overall big picture.

No one is ever going to care that I spent several hours cleaning the house every day. There wasn’t even anyone around to notice.

And it just got dirty again.

Wasted time.

No one is going to care that I binge-watched television dramas from beginning to end in a matter of days in order to find out what happens to the main character.

I can’t even remember any of the character’s names anymore.

Wasted years.

No one will care if I became tired during the day and decided to take a nap rather than going outside and enjoying the sunshine God offered me.

It won’t make any difference on my deathbed that I played games on the internet rather than visiting the scenic beauty of foreign countries such as Italy or France.

Whenever we reflect on the past, we need to stop and instead, contemplate our future.

Rather than think about all of the dreams which never happened, we should instead wake up and do them.

We can not miss out on opportunities we are being given during our short time here because we are scared of the future or because we are saddened by our past.

Do not fear failing.

If you want to live by the ocean, move.

If you want to get married, be with the person who wants you rather than holding on for someone who may never come.

Our time is short and the past does not define who we can become. It really doesn’t.

In his book “Walden,” Henry David Thorou says, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

Thorou also said, “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”

In other words, we need to understand ourselves now, in the present, and not who we were in the past or what will occur in the future. Make sure to live.

(Stenger is the community editor of the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at jstenger@heraldstaronline.com.)