I once had a friend who used to tell me all the time that she never wanted to have children.

She was adamant about it.

Years later, she got married to a man who adored her.

He soon became my friend, too.

They were a happy couple.

Never really argued.

Always called each other by a pet name.

They were always going to baseball, hockey and football games.

They visited restaurants all the time.

They would go on vacation to places they found interesting and stayed up late watching movies on tv with one another.

They had time to do whatever they wanted to do.

No one who tied them down.

She had a man who truly loved her, which is something I have always wished I would have had while growing older.

It can be quite lonely at times.

So yes, I could see how she cherished her freedom.

I can understand why she was insistent that she never wanted to have a baby.

And she kept her word.

It remained the two of them for many years.

And then she died.

I know it’s pretty bad I don’t recall her exact age but I know she was only a few years older than me.

Her husband was devastated.

He was left all alone.

And he made his hurt known through social media for years following her death.

Whenever I think about her, I sometimes wonder if she made the right decision.

Yes, she lived the way she wanted … a life without kids.

I don’t think she particularly liked children. I can’t really say.

But you know what? That’s OK. Not everybody is parent material.

I don’t really know if she thought she wouldn’t make a good mother or what, but I do know that she definitely missed out.

She missed out on so much.

Once in a while, I think about how her husband might not feel so alone if they had had a child.

If he had a part of her still here to share his days with.

Someone who would possess some of the traits he loved so much in his wife.

But I suppose that “what if’s” no longer matter, do they?

Because we can never go back, despite how much we may want to.

I only bring this memory up because when I was a teenager, I never thought about having children either.

The idea never entered my mind.

I found children to be rather annoying.

There’s no shame in that … because sometimes they are.

Not always, but sometimes.

People are annoying at every age I believe.

We all know that.

But as far as children?

They can be loud and messy.

Their screams can be piercing and bothersome.

Children are brutally honest because they do not know any better.

(Maybe we all should take a lesson from them in that.)

If we were to make a pro and con list for children, we could probably list more cons than positives.

However, the one pro I would list first and foremost, would be the love your heart feels when you see them.

Everytime.

And that certainly outweighs any amount of cons I could ever list.

Life seems to make everything inside of you change when your child enters the world.

Funny how that happens.

Children no longer seem so annoying.

My world was turned upside down when I became a mother.

Although I couldn’t purchase a drink in a bar just yet, I was old enough to be responsible for another human being.

Crazy how that works sometimes.

What I never realized before I had children was just how much of a blessing they truly are.

And I have been blessed three times over.

How lucky is that?

And my friend, who I told you about?

She enjoyed my children, too.

Some people think they never want to have a child.

And it’s perfectly alright if that is how they truly feel.

But I do know that for anyone who has ever had a baby, that feeling instantly dissipates the moment we see them for the first time.

The second we hold them just moments after they open their eyes for the first time.

Only then can we ever understand exactly what kind of joy a child brings into our life.

Never in a million years … no, make that a billion years, could I make you understand what happens to your heart the instant your baby is born.

It transforms you into somebody else entirely.

Had I 100 pages on which to write, I could never find the words to tell you what it is like.

It is as if God has them wrap their tiny little hand around your one finger … and in that small, helpless grasp, you suddenly realize you are now responsible for a life other than your own.

And that is quite a responsibility.

Yet, with each passing day, you become more and more attached to that child.

They instantly become someone that you would die for … without hesitation, without second guessing the consequences.

I am just sorry that my friend never had the opportunity to experience that type of love. That type of happiness.

Yes, I might have missed out on going to sporting events and restaurants.

And I may have missed out on attending concerts and never going on vacations with someone who loves me.

But you know what I received instead?

The title of mother.

Add that to the pro column.

I was given the opportunity to raise three beautiful boys.

And I would never trade that for all of the activities she got to do in her world without children.

Becoming a mother is the greatest job we can ever do.

Mother’s Day is 24 hours set aside every year when we honor or remember our mom.

It is a day to think about them and try to make them happy in whatever way we can.

As a mother, I have come to learn that on Mother’s Day, I am not only thinking about my mother, I am thinking about my children, too. For they made me the one who carries that title, now.

A title far better than princess, queen or Mrs.

So today, when you are remembering your mom, just know that she is thinking about you, as well.

Have a beautiful Mother’s Day.

(Stenger is the community editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times newspapers. She can be contact through e-mail at jstenger@heraldstaronline.com.)