To the editor:
What must one be to be called "cute"? What can you do to win the admiring glances from members of the opposite sex? Wouldn't it be nice to hear them say "he's so cute"?
Almost every lady I know gushes over baby pictures. On almost every Facebook account are shown pictures of babies smiling their gummy toothless smiles. "He's so cute" is the elicited response in practically all cases. In one instance I counted 15 such responses to a photo of an infant child. At early infancy, his appearance may not differ significantly from those of his numberless counterparts, but to his close admirers, he's very precious and his looks are unique.
Yes, it is true: All babies merit similar approbation from their fawning admirers.
Once one becomes a teenager one is often out of luck with members of the opposite sex of not adjudged by them to be cute. Sadly, there is little one can do about this, despite attempts to be cute. Practicing cute looks before a mirror is often tried but with unavailing results. Else one may fashion an unusual hair style and adorn himself with earrings and beads. Wearing low-fitting trousers has been attempted with the upper region of the gluteus-maximus crease exposed. Appearing to be casual, above the fray, may help. If not cute, at least one might be called a cool dude.
With the onset of full adulthood, it makes little difference whether one is cute or otherwise, as a fat belly, jowly cheeks or a timeworn expression negates cuteness for them.
The un-cutest person in the world is the liberal Democrat, whose physiognomy has been altered significantly by pressing concerns in the political arena. The heavy task he's assumed to improve the lives of everyone has exhausted all his physical resources but has altered his features into a countenance of a grave nobility, which by far, surpasses the "cuteness" of his lesser peers A prime example is our vice president, Kamala Harris. I quite don't how to categorize Old Joe Biden.
Note that throughout, I've applied a pronoun and an adjective in a masculine connotation, viz., "he" and "his." Not wishing to offend anyone, it may be added that there is no difference between a man or a woman anyway, despite the peculiarities observed of analogous body parts. After their many hours of intensive research, many thanks are thus owed our illustrious liberal friends for arriving at this profound conclusion. Appearances mean nothing. And just think how nice it is now to be able to use the nearest public bathroom in case you've got to go. Take the signs down.
Getting back to the main theme, so what if you're not cute. Just be happy admiring baby pictures, or if you are a teenager, come up with an avant-garde hair style and put on some baggy pants.
Otherwise, be content with the homely, i.e., plainly attractive, physiognomy with which you've been endowed by the creator.
Gail A. Wickstrom
Newell