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Pen pals hit it ‘write’ off when they meet for the first time

By JANICE KIASKI 7 min read

STEUBENVILLE -- Being a pen pal or having one in an age of instant communication through text messaging, Facebook messenger or e-mail may seem like a lost art, a thing of the past.

But for Nada Palmer Cade of state Route 213, Steubenville, and Carol Cummins of Perrysville, Ohio, that's anything but the case.

The two have been corresponding back and forth since 2016 -- their news, support of each other and commentary on life reliant upon a communication system involving pen and paper, cursive writing, stamps, mailbox interaction and the delivery involvement of the U.S. Postal System.

The two met in person for the first time on Feb. 15, when Carol and her husband, Dave, made the more than two-hour drive to Jefferson County to visit Nada at her Pleasant Hill home. That happened Feb. 15.

From that came a desire to publicly share how they had met and how a pen-pal relationship has been a blessing for both women.

How the two connected is a story that starts out a bit complicated, Carol explained in her account, "but I like to think there really are no coincidences in life.

"I regularly donate books I've read to the Loudonville Public Library book sale," Carol began. "Nada's daughter, Monica Dornbusch of the Annapolis area, vacations in the Loudonville area, and she bought some books at the sale for her mother, who then sent a thank-you note to my Uncle Bill. He responded to her but also sent her letter on to me and suggested that we become pen pals so at Halloween in 2016, I sent a card to Nada in a bright orange envelope.

"She was delighted to get my card," Carol continued, "and immediately wrote back, and we have been sharing letters ever since."

Nada recalled how she didn't recognize the name on that first piece of correspondence bearing the name of Carol Cummins in the return address.

"I get this large envelope around Halloween, and it had Carol Cummins on it, and I thought I don't know any Carol Cummins. I opened it, and Carol wrote, 'Surprise, Nada."

The rest is pen pal letter-writing history, as Nada got the explanation ultimately of how a book made its way from Greer, S.C., to Loudenville, Ohio, to the state Route 213, Pleasant Hill, rural Steubenville, home where Nada resides.

Nada offers her own explanation of how she and Carol became pen pals.

"Here is how God worked in my life, and I got a beautiful person for a pen pal and a good friend," Nada said

"My daughter, Monica, and son-in-law, Glenn Dornbusch, are campers and were in Loudenville, Ohio. Monica went to the library, and they had a pile of books -- take all you want for a donation. She knew her mom was a romance reader so she brought me 10 books, one of which was a Southern plantation novel," Nada continued.

The title of that particular book escapes her, but the inside cover bore an address label from a man in Greer, S.C. That interested Nada, who pointed out that her son John lives near there in the Greenville, S.C. area.

"It was a good book and so I wrote a short note asking how did a book from South Carolina end up in Ohio," Nada said in explaining why she wrote to Col. William Wilder of Greer, S.C., Cummins' uncle.

"The nice man wrote back, explaining that he had sent it to his niece," Nada said.

"I never had a pen pal in all my life," Nada said, although writing letters was nothing new. Sometimes that was because it was a better way to communicate with family members from afar, for exmaple, since her hearing was compromised and talking on the phone wasn't an option.

And sometimes letter writing of Nada's generation was a common way of life and less expensive than long-distance phone calls.

Nada writes to her younger sister, Jessie Flener, 85, in Virginia.

The women bonded quickly.

Carol, now 64, was divorced and handling a small farm when they first began corresponding.

Nada, now 88, was longtime widowed -- 19 years without the love of her life, the late Bill Cade Sr. -- and the matriarch of a large family that includes, in addition to daughter Monica Dornbush and her husband, Glenn, sons Bill Cade Jr. and John Cade of South Carolina, six grandchildren, four great-grandchildren and four great-great-grandchildren.

"Both of us had plenty of stories to share," Carol noted. "We'd ask each other for advice and share stories about our children. Besides reading, we had a lot of shared interests like cooking and canning. We both truly loved animals and watching birds. Many of Nada's letters talked of her grey cat, Harley, and I mentioned my crazy Bassett Hound Norman and my two horses.

"I corresponded with Nada even before I knew my (second) husband, and I remember asking her what she thought about him. She thought I ought to pray on it and watch for any deal breakers. Excellent advice," Carol commented.

"We both love getting each other's letters.

And that can make a trip to the mailbox like Christmas when there's a note or card bearing the familiar return addresses. Quips Nada, it's something in there other than junk mail.

In March 2022, Carol was diagnosed with multiple myeloma cancer and with various complications.

"Having never been sick before, I was really shocked to get the diagnosis. After coming home from the hospital, I didn't want to talk to anyone and was in such pain that I spent a lot of time resting but I did not write any letters. Nada called to check on me, and I just cried and cried as I explained the diagnosis to her. She knew something was wrong when the letters stopped coming. She's been my rock through my recovery and encouraged me any way possible. Nada had a way of putting a positive spin on everything. She really helped me to pick up the pieces of my life and get on with living," Carol noted.

"Just before my cancer surgery, a car pulled up in the driveway and out popped a smiling woman whose picture I'd seen on Facebook. It was Nada's daughter Monica with a special delivery of a dozen red roses from Nada. I was gathering strength for the upcoming surgery and so appreciated the gesture of kindness," she said.

When Carol's healing was well under way, she decided it was time to visit Nada in person so the Feb. 15 date to meet was coordinated.

Coincidentally, the birthdays of the two women are only a day apart -- Carol's is Feb. 16; Nada's is on Feb. 17.

"I thought that would be an excellent gift to us both. A drive of two and a half hours separates us, but it was just like old friends getting together and chatting. Monica had so much in common with my husband, and Nada and I had more in common than either of us imagined. It turns out that our husbands both retired from Columbia Gas. Just another coincidence," Carol added.

"We felt so at home visiting, and seeing all of Nada's photos of days gone by was especially fun for me. What I will always remember is Nada's kind smile and her infectious laugh. We laughed and chattered for hours. I'll never forget that day, and I mark it as one of my all-time favorites -- the 64-year-old cancer survivor and the 88-year-old family matriarch. She means the world to me," Carol commented.

Nada describers Carol as one of her best friends, even before they ever met.

"What a pleasant visit," Nada said, noting God brought together two women from a distance to have a close friendship.

"When Carol found out I had a cat named Harley, she has sent me many cards with kittens on them. It's been a very good time in my life knowing Carol," Nada said.

The two correspond at least twice a month, and the arrival of a letter is something special, according to Nada.

"I don't know when they're coming but it's really a treat to go and have a letter."

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