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Resolution arrives e-a-r-l-y in the morning

When the phone rings at 2:30 in the morning, my first thought is something’s wrong.

Gasp!! Oh, no!!

Social, how-are-you-doing calls certainly don’t come at that hour, at least not for me as a non-chatty, non-night owl who wouldn’t be inclined to talk on the phone at any time of the day or night.

No non-emergency calls should come at that time of a new day.

Maybe, it’s a wrong number.

Now that’s a possibility, I was telling myself as I was processing this noise that had invaded my sound sleep and make-no-sense-at-all dreams that I was in the midst of trying to make sense of.

I rolled over to answer the phone, more alarmed than anything else, of course, thinking the worst, bracing for something bad.

Then I see on the caller ID who’s on the other end of the line.

It’s the cable company.

Huh?? What??

Now I answered the phone in part to stop it from ringing and waking up anyone else in the house, fully expecting that it would be one of those automated calls telling me something that could have waited until a respectable hour, but whatever.

Instead, it was a real live, honest-to-goodness human being who was responding to my raspy, cautious and hesitant “Hello?”

“With whom do I have the pleasure of talking?” the human being wasted no time launching into this followup “customer service” call that I had been — silly me — expecting to come during a reasonable time of day or early evening up to a certain point.

There was something wrong with the cable connection to the TV in the bedroom, so after exhausting all the fix-it protocol measures I knew to do, I had to place that dreaded call the day before, knowing I’d be lost in automation, press this, press that, trying to limit to two or three words what my trouble was when the recording asked.

All that maddening maneuvering validated what I already knew — there was a system error somewhere and a cable representative would be calling. OK. Swell.

I never thought the call would come at 2:30 a.m.

“Do you know what time it is?” I asked the human being who talked incredibly fast and mowed over my inquiry like a madman trying to finish cutting grass before it starts raining.

The guy didn’t get that I was maybe a little perturbed and not just casually asking for the time of day.

Undaunted, he continued with questions, more of the same fix-it-from-afar protocol and ultimately declared the need to schedule a service call.

I could have been bent out of shape about all this, but I figured well, now I’m wide awake and won’t be able to fall back asleep anyway before it’s time to get up for work.

This might be my best chance for resolution. If I hung up, I’ve have to go through the whole painful procedure again.

It occurred to me that maybe we should return to simpler television times, to the days of one TV in the household, a console model in the living room with a little screen and rabbit ears wrapped in aluminum foil for optimum reception.

No cable.

I must admit, it’s good to have that TV working again.

Now I can get back to those make-no-sense dreams.

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