I’ll take a slice of this and a slice of that would do
True to any day, the thoughts in my head are as varied as they are disconnected and unassociated.
This column will likely be proof of that.
I was thinking, for instance, about inventions or more like, “Now why hasn’t anyone thought of this or done this before?” when I was grocery shopping the other day, still learning how to do that wearing a mask.
I’ve heard people say that when they leave a store or some public place and can safely remove their mask, it’s taken off with the conviction of a doctor who’s just finished challenging surgery.
I kind of feel that way when I’m loading the car with my purchases. Face freedom!
Better Half often wonders what takes me so long at the grocery store, and honestly I have a tendency to be indecisive and second guess myself about what I toss in the shopping cart (I don’t do that with the eggs, of course, or the salad for that matter.)
I actually do enjoy taking my time looking at what foods and products there are on the shelves and everywhere.
As a bread girl, I especially like to loiter in a bakery section and see what’s available since there are as many varieties of bread as there are lunch meats and condiments to put on it.
And that made me wonder why I can’t buy bread by the slice, not the loaf. You can buy doughnuts by the dozen, 12 different kinds — why not bread?
Blame this random thought of mine on a passing craving for a slice or two of cinnamon raisin bread toasted and oozing with butter, which I love, but I don’t really want to commit to buying a whole loaf of it.
I know how that story will end — I’ll eat a couple slices and then the next time I open the bread drawer, it’s changed colors on me.
But if I could buy a loaf of slices of different breads, that would constitute a productive grocery shopping experience. A slice or two of cinnamon raisin bread, one or two rye, a Texas toast, some sourdough, a slice of ciabatta and a brioche and don’t forget a slice or two of cornbread.
Now there’s a loaf of bread that won’t turn green.
I can be thinking about bread in pioneering consumer buying terms one minute and then my brain is off in a completely different direction the next, in this case lengthy e-mail addresses being explained over the phone.
That’s an activity often destined for failure as one letter off or something added dooms it for failed mail.
If I had 25 cents for every time I’ve tried to explain over the phone to someone what my work e-mail address is, quarter wrappers would be in great demand.
I think it’s the “Kiaski” part of it that’s the main culprit.
Such a simple six-letter surname it isn’t, I guess.
“This is all lower case,” I always begin the instruction — “j-k-i-a-s-k-i……”
Then we move along to the “at symbol” which can trip up some not-so-savvy computer users. And we finish off with heraldstaronline.com, which verbalized is “herald star on line dot com.”
But it’s not Harold, as I have come to discover has been the interpretation of some, making the wise guy in me want to say, “No, this is his cousin, Herald.”
At any rate, I can work up an appetite doing this.
One slice of cinnamon raisin bread would do nicely.
(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and community editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at email@example.com.)