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Now if you were me, where would you leave that?

Now if I were Janice, where would I have put a book of stamps with frogs on them?

The book of stamps I just saw, honestly. They were right here, and now they’re gone. Poof. Another successful unsupervised disappearing act in the Kiaski household.

I try to talk logic to myself whenever I misplace something, becoming my own voice of reason, encouragement and direction, which is kind of frightening. I do a little self-scolding, too.

I seem to have a gift for doing this from time to time, losing track of something I really, really need, like my car keys or a brain or, in this case, the book of frog stamps, because I had bills to pay and cards to send.

Very frustrating to not have tabs on this financial commitment.

I broke down and forked over $11 for a whole book of stamps the other day because a.) I needed them and b.) I knew I’d use them.

In my green money world minus any green frogs, that’s high finance, folks.

Sure, I could just buy one stamp here, another stamp there, I’ve often reasoned with myself, because there’s other things I’d rather spend $11 on, but I made the sacrifice and paid for it and felt it.

My wallet concurred, a bit grieved.

But the saving grace was being able to at least choose what design was on the stamps. Frogs seemed like an appropriate selection, given I like to hop along in life and take leaps of faith from the lily pad upon which I perch.

Yes, let’s go with the frogs this time. Very green. Very lovely.

When it comes to purchasing stamps, I have the same feeling, approach and experience about stopping to buy gas. I don’t like to spend money on gas either even though a.) I need it and b.) I use it.

It’s not easy being me and trying to justify my dislike of having to live in an adult world with adult responsibilities.

So I ended up spending a good bit of time trying to find those stamps that I had just seen somewhere.

Where could they be? Did I move them? Put them in my purse (bad idea)? Set them on the kitchen bar (another bad idea)? Throw them away accidentally (I’m very selective about what I throw money away on)?

A day designed for other things became a day devoted to looking for stamps.

It became an exhausting process of backtracking and retracing my steps.

I was playing detective, a cross between “Columbo” (no, I don’t smoke cigars) and Angela Lansbury. Maybe a little “Monk,” too.

I was on the verge of having frog hallucinations when I called in the troops to help — Better Half.

He’s played these reindeer games with me before, hunting for things that I claim have disappeared.

Such searches become spousal sports. Who can find the lost item first.

Better Half won, discovering the book of frog stamps mixed in “accidentally” with the pile of paper recyclables.

Now if I were Janice I’d celebrate.

Ribbit!

(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and community editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted atjkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)

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