To the editor:
When the doctor put the needle in her tiny arm, I was setting close to her head with my arm gently draped around her. She was lying on her right side to where I could see her tiny face; her beautiful brown eyes glanced briefly at me with a strange peacefulness and she then looked away. My granddaughter sat behind me with her hand resting on my shoulder to comfort me. I could barely hear her quiet sobs over my uncontrollable crying.
It took less than a minute. Her little body lie motionless, her beautiful brown eyes had a blank stare as my tears fell gently on her beautiful fluffy white body. I simply do not have the words to explain the pain my soul was enduring as we returned home. I didn't care who saw me crying, it didn't matter. I've lost people in my life that I thought I'd never get over their passing, but the loss of Lacey was somehow the type of pain that I simply could not understand. Did God want me to realize and feel the devastation and heartbreak he endured when he sent his only son to be born in a stable knowing that he would be beaten and nailed to a cross with a crown of huge thrones pushed deep into his head?
Those thrones, nails in his hands and feet would seep his blood from his body. Blood that washed away my sins. Did God want me to completely understand the unconditional love he has for me when he allowed Lacey to become a part of my life, knowing that I had to put her down? Like he had to allow his only son die to show how much he loved me and wanted me to have a chance to live with him forever?
Was God's thinking that for me to realize the depth of his love for me, he would send a dog; a continuous reminder - lest I forget -about unconditional love and what it feels like to love something so much that I had to unselfishly let it go, because it was necessary.
Although God sent Jesus to me so that my sins would be washed away, I think he sent dogs so that I could truly experience the depth of his unconditional love and feel the pain he endured because of that love. Spelling "dog" backward reminds me that truly I have man's best friend with me always.
Mary M. Paice