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2003 Man never would understand de-scaling the Keurig

January 21, 2014 - Paul Giannamore
I spent my day off yesterday doing something that was unheard of a decade ago.

Much like talking about “android,” “the iPhone” and the affordable flat-screen TV, riding a Segway, the return of the real Camaro or Mayor Mucci’s 16th year in office, a decade ago no one would have said the following sentence: “I de-scaled the Keurig.”

Imagine 2003 Man hearing that sentence.

“What’s a Keurig” might have been the first thought, followed by “must be a fish he caught if he ‘de-scaled’ it.”

But I de-scaled the Keurig.

The recommendations repeated what seems like 10 million times across the Internet, from amateur YouTube video productions to the Keurig website itself seem correct.

Grab a bottle of white vinegar, (which is made from alcohol, not fruits or other substances, did you know that?). Empty your Keurig reservoir of water. Fill it with the vinegar. Run the vinegar through the Keurig, (sans coffee K-cup) cup by cup, until the reservoir is empty.

I followed the recommendation to put in a couple more drops of vinegar, start the Keurig on one more cup of coffee and shut it off while the pump is running, to make sure vinegar is in all the lines in the machine.

Take off the reservoir, wash it out. Take out the little cupholder thing and don’t stab yourself with the internal needles in the cup or its lid thingie. I didn’t run a paper clip up the internal needle thingie. Seemed unnecessary and too much like a proctological exam on the coffeemaker.

Wash the little cup holder thingie. Let everything air dry (you don’t want lint in your water reservoir).

Walk away for four hours.

Put the whole thing back together, fill the water reservoir with water and run, cup by cup (sans K-cup again). Fill the reservoir again and repeat. Fill the reservoir again and repeat. Fill the reservoir again and repeat.

By now, you’ve run about 16 cups of plain water through the device and the vinegar flavoring should be gone.

Put in your favorite grade of coffee, or in my case, a nice French roast decaf because it was 9 p.m. Make a cup and enjoy. Mmmmm. Fall into blissful sleep knowing a great cup o’Joe is waiting at 4:30 a.m.

Never could have imagined doing that 10 years ago. Never even wanted a Keurig when I learned what it was…but now, no other cup of coffee will do.

Still easier than scaling the Keurig fish.

Now, if only I could tell 2003 Man about the clear signal offered by listening to terrestrial radio stations on the smartphone and using the Bluetooth module to beam the signal via FM to the car radio in the PT Cruiser.

About the only thing 2003 Man would have understood was “PT Cruiser,” probably followed by the thought, “It’s still running in 2014?”


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