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Is it normal for couples to become each other?

October 15, 2013 - Paul Giannamore
I think The Boss and I are becoming each other.

Where once I was the gearhead who had to have all the latest techie toys, she now is that person in the family.

The Boss wanted to move on from her iPhone 3G, which we had bought each other a few years ago for our anniversary. There were no upgrades left in the plan thanks to me breaking two phones in a record-setting bad year, so her only choices were full price or to add a line to the family plan and get a new iPhone 5.

As if reading my mind, on cue, we both blurted out that Kid No. 1 could surely use a new iPhone and we’d be happy to add her back onto the family plan. The Boss got the new iPhone 5C in girlie powder blue. It’s too narrow and without the matching case that she bought, it’s like trying to grip an ice cube. But it’s good for her.

She went for a small Cadillac phone for looks as much as shiny and new. I used to long for the latest, highest-tech phones. Now, a well-equipped Chevy of a phone does just fine.

We’re both looking to that empty nest time down the road when we might actually afford a new car again. She is longing for really big trucks and laughs at my choices. We’ve been over this before in this space when I thought it was just a funny concept. She loves the big pickup trucks, I’m thinking that it’s late enough in life that a little subcompact will do. She’s seriously thinking I will take on Sulu the Civic when she gets all Walker Texas Ranger in her transportation choice in a year or two. Thus, my car-guy cred will die, though I hope to still hang onto Enrico as a sunny day road pal.

But beyond tech and cars, there’s this whole sports on TV thing. In the dark ages of the 1980s, when we were first married, Sunday became “Honey, go to the mall with me” day. I pretty much missed the entire career of Louis Lipps and Bubby Brister. As a young newlywed man, I held her hand and smiled and did the puppy dog eyes and went shopping as asked.

When the Cowher era started, I went back to being a football addict, and The Boss could just do whatever she and the kids wanted or needed to do, so long as the Steelers and any other pro football game available was on the TV.

Now, I find I just cannot get into it. Lord knows, I tried, but this season I just cannot make the switch. It’s got nothing to do with the Steelers performance, either. For a variety of reasons, my interest has been declining for a few years. This year I’m just not watching pro ball at all, and a whole lot less college ball (though that Penn State overtime Saturday was fun). I cannot bring myself to spend three to nine hours every Saturday and Sunday watching football.

The Boss can.

I read a book for three hours while she dealt with the Browns and others Sunday.

I’m seeing a trend here. Are we turning into each other after nearly 28 years of marriage? Is this one of those “people start looking like their pet” things or is this the natural transition of life together? She likes trucks, knows more about the latest tech and is a football junkie. I'm reading more, thinking subcompacts are nice and cooking more. Hmm.

I don’t think it’s a personality shift. She’s still nice and I’m still a putz. Not quite sure what to call this.

I really think I have to study The Boss more. I need to know what else I’m going to be doing for the next 30 or so years.


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