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Maybe union rules created a truckload of "BUCKS"

September 29, 2013 - Paul Giannamore
I would not mind a Buick. A Verano. Or an Encore. A Buick.

I learned to drive on a late 1970s Skylark, a Chevy Nova in a dress suit, and it was quiet and smooth and powerful for its day, anyway, just like Buicks always have been.

I think I'd love the Verano. Haven’t driven one. I have driven and liked the Chevy Cruise, and I figure that, like the old Skylark was to the Nova, the Verano is a Cruise that went to finishing school and put on a really nice Hugo Boss suit. I’ve sat in one, imagined driving it, loved the interior and the look of the car.

I never worried about the whole “old man’s car” thing that Buick supposedly has been suffering from. A nice, classy, quiet car is a nice, quiet, classy car. That they also handle much better now and are attracting younger folks is, I think, a bonus, even to me, now an old guy who would skew the hard-working division’s graphics the wrong way.

My son’s fiancee, The Drummer’s Boss, is just short of the middle of her mid-20s. She loved the Verano and bought one. That it indirectly becomes The Drummer’s means I might get to ride in it someday. Once. The Drummer, who always loved Buicks, loves this car, too, so they are attracting younger people finally. Good for Buick.

And as far as I know, The Drummer’s Boss still loves her car, though her dad noticed that it’s a Buck, not a Buick.

Seems the letter “i” is missing somewhere from the nametag on the trunk.

Now, while it upsets me that they still use individual, glued-on lettering, I figure it’s probably not a case of the glue not working. I think it can be explained by work rules. See, the guy on the day shift who glues on the “I” on the assembly line caught a cold. And he had to call off, as per union contract rules against coming to work and infecting the guys who do the letters B, U, C and K.

Exept the afternoon shift “I” guy was on vacation so the third shift “I” was already working a double shift. So nobody was available to do the “I” on the morning shift.

“U” offered to do two letters, but work rules prevent the letter guys from sharing alphabet duties because if management figures one guy can do two letters, what’s to prevent them from eventually adopting a one-piece emblem with the word “BUICK” spelled out? It would mean laying off four guys on each shift, that’s what. Buick makes five car lines, so 20 guys would be out of work. The union is not going to let that happen.

So, I think it is possible a couple railcars full of “BUCKS” were made somewhere back in August.

Or the glue didn’t work. Or somebody stole her “I” the way idiots used to steal hood ornaments. Probably some gang thing, for all I know.

Or, since she bought it in Pittsburgh, it's possible that it's a slightly misspelled Pirates 2013 commemorative edition.

But “I” or no “I,” Buick has attracted younger people to the brand, and that is fantastic. And I still want one. I can live without an “I,” but I would love that starship dashboard and comfy seats and smooth interior and nice exterior and handling that, like other Buicks I’ve driven, I’m sure makes the words “stick of butter” and “responsive” not mutually exclusive.

Hold the “I” and get me a BUCK if you’ve got to.


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