A big solution to a little squinting situation
We’ve been watching TV lately as if we’re in the midst of a severe sandstorm.
Eyes squinting to see programs and movies clearer, Better Half and I have asked each other a couple of questions with some frequency.
Is it just me, or is this TV screen shrinking?
Is it just me, or are you having trouble seeing the TV screen?
We’ve answered in the affirmative to both inquiries to each other.
Our response to that brought two swift-solution possibilities.
Schedule eye exams?
No. Too tough a test to study for and pass.
How about buying a bigger screen TV?
Hmmmm. Now there’s a thought — and a fine squint-reducing one at that.
Why not, we reasoned. We’ve been threatening to do that for how many holidays now, for how many birthdays, for how many anniversaries.
And, lo and behold, Valentine’s Day nears. Perfect timing. Perfect plan. We get us a joint gift. A new big screen TV.
Nothing says love like getting the big picture together, right?
Besides, I thought to myself, it takes a lot of Feb. 14 pressure off the broad shoulders of Better Half, even if it does redirect it into his wallet.
Getting a big screen TV nullifies the need, for example, for him to come up with another clever Valentine’s Day gift as he has pulled off in years past.
Allow me to revisit some of them as a reminder of his love — love far deeper than the contents of the stalls of two horses.
He got me:
Two shovels because he double digs me.
A broom because I “swept” him off his feet.
An electric pencil sharpener to make the “point” that I was his true love.
A coffee pot that was “grounds” for marital bliss.
Candy bars because he’s “sweet” on me.
A dictionary to remind me that there aren’t enough words to declare his love.
And let us not forget the year of the potato, when innocently from the potato bag he plucked one Idaho destined for french fry glory.
Here was a potato shaped liked a heart, I kid you not. On it, he carved our initials in the framework of — you guessed it — a heart outline he also etched out.
“This ‘spud’s’ for you, honey,” I can still hear the tremble of true love in his voice as he presented that one-of-a-kind potato to me.
So this year it’s a big screen TV, the purchase of which involved an investment of more time and more energy and more indecisiveness than most couples probably experience when they’re planning a wedding or buying a house.
So now we have a bigger screen TV to watch together as we cuddle on the couch.
Now we have something bigger to doze off in front of.
Isn’t it romantic!
Happy Valentine’s Day.
(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and community editor for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.)