Life as a couple of old married people
I think it’s official as we feed into the week that brings us Valentine’s Day and all things lovey-dovey-gooey.
Better Half and I are an old married couple.
There’s plenty of evidence to convict us among a jury of our been-together-a-long-time peers.
Weary of being cute for column’s sake, Better Half made one of his oh-no-not-that-holiday-again face when I pointed to the calendar one evening as a gentle reminder of what month we’re in and the expectations it has brought through the years.
Deadline pressure, dahhhhhh-ling, I tapped my wristwatch.
No need to hurry-worry, but I do need you to be clever at your earliest inconvenience.
Figure out some special way, I suggested with spousal sweetness, come up with some funny-punny little present to commemorate Feb. 14 on my behalf, so I can write all about it and let the reading public know how wildly witty and wonderful you are.
The realization, though, that it’s Cupid’s time of year is cause anymore for more perspiration than inspiration.
A big dose of dread, too.
But his past year acknowledgments of Valentine’s Day warrant revisiting.
And they’re tough to top, I must admit.
There was the year I got a new broom because I “swept” him off his feet (not because I needed “new wheels.”)
There was the year he gave me two shovels because he “double digs” me. (In truth we flat out needed a new shovel because it was snowing a lot that year, but he figured, hey, buy two. That way we can do the driveway together. Nothing says love quite like his and her shoveling.
There was the year I got a new coffee pot — “grounds” for our relationship to keep “perking.”
There was the year he outlined a great big posterboard heart with all my favorite candy bars because he’s “so sweet” on me.
That was a good year for the dentist.
There was the year he got me an electric pencil sharpener so he could “stay sharp” and make the “point” yet again that he loved me.
The best I’ve ever done in return is a bag of pistachios for him, because I’m “nuts” about him.
But silly sentiments aside, now we’ve decided to be who we really are — a couple of old married people — happily married old married people who agree that Valentine’s Day is just another day, one where we’ve joked that we should renew our “vows” and say “a, e, i, o, u” before we indulge in some chocolate, fight over the remote control and plop into his-and-her recliners.
Depending on who wins we watch more political news analysis or back-to-back episodes of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” or “Fixer Upper.”
Or “Big Valley” reruns.
Yep, we finish each other’s sentences.
We read each other’s thoughts.
We’re even starting to look like each other.
The verdict is in — we’re an old married couple.
(Kiaski, a resident of Richmond, is a staff columnist and features writer for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times and community editor for the Herald-Star. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.)