A non-moviegoer but Oscar show viewer

I’ve never been a big go-to-the-movies person.

The last one I went to was in 2004. Better Half and I went with a group from church on Ash Wednesday that year to see Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ,” a powerful film I had trouble watching but not trouble believing.

So that was nine years ago that I actually bought a ticket and went to a movie theater and watched a newly released production in the company of a bunch of other people.

Before that, it was “Forrest Gump” in 1994.

Notice a pattern here?

That being said, I can’t claim to have any strong opinions about the films up for an Academy Award tonight because I have yet to see any of them, but I usually tune in just the same.

What the heck – I like to watch all the buff and beautiful actors and their significant others walk the red carpet, stop and swirl and have their pictures taken a gazillion times. I’m always more than a little curious to see what the women are wearing and how they have their hair fixed. I’m assuming they give this some thought, the same way women fret about what to wear to a class reunion. Or maybe not.

As for the awards show itself, there are things I like about it and things I don’t.

I look forward to acceptance speeches only in the hopes that someone will find a unique, clever way to say thank-you and that brevity will prevail in the process.

I feel more than a little sad when there’s the part paying tribute to actors who passed away since the previous year’s show.

How well I like the show hinges on how good the host is.

Billy Crystal is a pretty tough act to follow in my book. I still remember the year he came out at the beginning, wheeled on stage as the masked, confined Hannibal Lecter character portrayed by Anthony Hopkins in “The Silence of the Lambs.”

As for the food, I’d like to know what they have for dinner at these events. My guess is it’s not rigatoni or chicken.

So, yes, I’ll tune in to the Oscars because I do like movies for the entertainment and the education, for their comedy and their candor.

Even though I may not see new movies right away, I realize they can have a big impact on our lives.

Let’s face it, I haven’t gone boldly into the ocean since I saw “Jaws.”

And if it weren’t for movies, I’d be short on appropriate responses at appropriate times, including when Better Half says it’s his turn to make dinner.

That’s my cue for the Clint Eastwood/Harry Callahan classic: “Go ahead, make my day.”

Or if I cook, and the meal falls short in the rave reviews department, not to worry.

“Frankly, my dear ” so goes the Clark Gable/Rhett Butler line from “Gone With The Wind.”

A good luck wish, by the way, goes out to Rick Witkowski of Studio L in Weirton. “Inocente” is up for an Academy Award in the best documentary short subject category. Witkowski was involved in the score for the film.

(Kiaski, a resident of Steubenville, is a staff columnist and features writer for the Herald-Star and The Weirton Daily Times and community editor for the Herald-Star. She can be contacted at jkiaski@heraldstaronline.com.)