Goldfish in a bowl

To the editor:

Carassious auratus is the scientific name for goldfish. Goldfish have notoriously short memories, just like tea party writers.

A goldfish will swim around a small bowl and notice something, what’s that? Continuing to swim, he will soon reach the same place and again think, what’s that?

Last week, I was reading one particularly venomous collection of random and not-well-thought-out rants from a local tea partier.

Progressing through the drivel of name calling and pedestrian nonsense, inducing nothing but pity and anger over these strained epithets – lame media, Obama, king, queen, idiotic and, of course, socialist. I was struck by one claim that did not seem consistent with my memory.

It was, that a week before, gas was $3.86 per gallon. While it is sad that, like the goldfish, you never seem to learn that presidents have little to do with gas prices, it didn’t sound right to me. Having a slightly better memory than a goldfish can be an asset.

I checked and guess what, you BB brains. In Bush’s last four years, the average price was $3.02, and under Obama it was $2.89. This factoid was brought to you by the Congressional Energy Report Commission. Even under your absurd machination it still appears that you have come up pointless.

Your competence as a historian is only matched by your skill and talent as a member of the “The Psychotic Friends Network.” I marveled as I read that Obama wants to educate preschool children to indoctrinate them to socialism. Your observations into Obama’s thoughts are astute. We naively thought that education was good.

OMG, the evil genius of that Obama, to enlist many thousands of teachers across this nation as his minions. “How does this incompetent do this?”

Wait a second, is he incompetent or is he a very competent evil genius? The answer to this must be above my “idiotic” pay grade. How can opposites be true? I must defer to your brilliant disguise as “Brainiac in Chief.”

I’m getting it now, how stupid of me to think that Rand Paul’s opposition to Title 10 of the Civil Rights Act is cruel and inhumane. Private businesses should be able to treat those with a different pigment as subhuman or just animals. We can’t allow them to pump that $3.86 gasoline, can we?

“Golden Boys” Rand Paul and Ted Cruz pledge to filibuster any legislation to restrict the sale of guns to anyone. Perhaps I was wrong to think that he was lying when he, a Harvard grad, was suggesting that there are no limitations to either the First or Second amendments. After all, we are entitled to drive Abrams tanks and carry rocket launchers on our way to kiddy porn movies, aren’t we?

Bob Atkinson