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Sending an invitation

Dear Annie: My father has late-stage Alzheimer’s and is in a nursing home. Do I send an invitation addressed to my dad and mom, my mom alone or my mom plus one? I want to acknowledge the fact that he is still alive, but I don’t want to act as if I have my head stuck in the ground. I’m more interested in respecting them as a couple and as individuals than in formal etiquette. I appreciate any advice you can offer. — Conflicted Daughter

Dear Conflicted Daughter: The very fact that you are writing this letter expressing your concern shows that you are not an ostrich with your head stuck in the ground. Quite the opposite. You are aware of everyone’s feelings and want to respect them as a couple. Address the invitation to both your mom and your dad. Though he might not be mentally all there, he is still alive and thus deserving of the invitation.

Dear Annie: I wrote to you about the falling-apart golf group for ladies. We took your suggestion about talking to the chairwoman about the issues. Four of us went to speak to her. She was surprised by how off-putting she can be to old players and new players and by how some have felt intimidated by her citing rules and the proper way to play. The chairwoman has agreed to run the group with changing volunteers to make things more fair and to help her.

Without your excellent input and advice, we most likely would have ended the group. Thank you again for showing that honesty and working together are ways to resolution. — Happy and Satisfied Golf Gal

Dear Golf Gal: Talk about a hole-in-one! Your letter made my day. Thanks for the follow-up. I’m thrilled my advice helped, but the main kudos goes to you for using honest, kind and open communication to solve what had become a serious problem in your golf circle.

I always love hearing from readers who have taken my advice, to see how it worked out, whether it solved the problem or it made it worse.

(Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. This column is syndicated by Creators Syndicate columnists. Visit the website at www.creators.com.)

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